Happy Year 23: Another Year of Heru

Another year of Heru-sa-Aset. It’s going to be a very different year for me. I’ve established this already, by withdrawing from priest service until my degree is finished, but the overall theme I received from my gods during the new year’s celebrations is that I need to change. Things need to change. I am too divided and overworked and I am not better for it. I will need to prioritize and choose my path carefully, and let things that do not serve me go.

I’ve decided to let my Tumblr presence go for now, to that end. I have nothing against the site but it is a huge time sink, and I don’t have time to spare right now. I don’t plan on deleting my account but I did uninstall the app from my phone. I may still post but it will likely be sporadic, and I don’t expect to engage much.

This year my focus will be inward, on growing my own relationship with my Parents and Beloveds, and on living my religion more authentically. On keeping ma’at in my heart at all times. I cannot bring Her to the people until I have brought Her back into my life again. Once I have achieved that, then I will return to the work of my gods as Their priest, and will return to giving of myself to my community. Perhaps then I will go back to the larger inter-Kemetic community, perhaps not. I will try to write about it here, but even this blog might go dark while I listen carefully to my gods. There is too much at stake not to focus this year.

Dua Heru-sa-Aset! Nekhtet!

Heru’s Story and Me (Or You)

According to the Kemetic Orthodox practice of determining a guardian deity over each year, this year belongs to Heru-sa-Aset the king (Horus, son of Isis, as the king and not the child). The Oracle of the year speaks of victory, of success, of conquering one’s trials. I never made much of a connection with Heru-sa-Aset. I had a tenuous relationship with Heru-wer (Horus the Elder, brother of Set) as a brand-new Shemsu, but it never became more than casual admiration. Heru-sa-Aset, on the other hand, has felt totally foreign to me.

Over the last few months I have struggled to connect with the year, with Heru, and with this Oracle. In many ways, I see how victory is touching my life; triumph over the storm comes in finally having a finished home for my parents. But, my focus is on so many things that feel unrelated that it feels flimsy. Marriage, career goals, educational goals… none of it feels relevant. It is hard to think in terms of victory and strength when one’s daily life floods with dresses and flowers and cake and stationery.

Heru’s story is about far more than just vanquishing one’s enemies, however. It’s true that Heru defeats Set to avenge His father and it’s true that this takes struggle and conflict. At it’s most basic, however, Heru’s story can be read as that of Him coming into His own: as the heir to His father’s throne, and as His adult self. This is His transition into adulthood; it is the point where he can truly no longer be called “pa-khered”, and becomes “nedj-it-ef” — He is no longer “the child”, but “the savior of His father”. His strength is no longer the hypothetical result of His lineage, but the real, tangible truth of who He is.

Perhaps building a home and getting married cannot be equated with vanquishing one’s troublesome uncle and ascending to the throne of the gods–but from my perspective, it feels tremendous. This is my own Contendings: to coordinate my life, to conquer my anxieties, and to come fully into my own adulthood. Now I admire Heru’s fearlessness and confidence in fighting for His throne. He knew His right and owned His ascension to the kingship. Too often, I question my position in life. Do I deserve this home? Do I deserve my job? Have I earned the right to the success and happiness I am pursuing? My fears and pitfalls are my adversary, pushing against me and testing my strength. Each time I overcome them, I find myself closer to my “throne” — the contented life I deserve to live as an adult.

So it is the year of victory: the year of owning who I am, the year of coming into my own power, the year I possess my strength. May it be so for you, in Heru’s name.

Returning Home.

My bag is packed and safely in the hands of airline attendants. Fellowship was had, the rites were performed; the year of Heru-sa-Aset begins. As I sit at the gate waiting for my flight home from the annual Wep Ronpet celebrations, I can feel both pangs of loss and waves of joy. Loss, because some of the dearest people to my heart will once again, for all too long, be reachable only though the Internet or by phone; joy, because I have been blessed with a week spent in fellowship with all of them.

Every year I return more invigorated, renewed in my desire to serve the Netjeru and Their people. I refocus myself. It’s almost like recalibrating my navigational systems. I adjust in small, sometimes imperceptible ways, realigning myself with the path I am taking.

It’s just about time to board, but I have much and more to say here. I just wanted to leave my note here, while the feelings are still fresh.