Once upon a time, the purpose of this blog was to write about my personal experiences with the gods. After a while, I sort of veered away from that and tried to write about these vast, sweeping concepts that would possibly be useful — in my mind — to other people who might be curious about the gods and want to know what to do with Them. That shift coincided with the time when I became a priest, and I know why — it had to do with feeling pressured to write something intellectual, by virtue of my new title. (As a newly minted wife, I can write a lot about the pressure that titles can cause. Hoo boy.)
Except — the charge They give me, periodically, is to “carry Their light”. (Hence the new title of this blog.) But what’s the most effective way to carry the light of the gods? Is it scrambling to write about broad concepts of ethics and theology? Is it finding a voice of authority and preaching about Ma’at and purity? Or is it talking about the gods and Their voices, Their words — Their light?
It’s always about Them. Anything I write, anything I do — if I want to share Them with the world, it has to be about Them. Even in the fallow times, even in the times of doubt.
I don’t always have a great relationship with my gods, which makes it even harder to keep writing about Them. Leading up to the wedding, They were mostly a guilty afterthought while I sifted through different choices and rushed to fittings and tastings and meetings with this or that vendor. When work or my graduate studies heat up, I often have to set Them aside and concentrate on the work at hand. But I still feel the pressure to write, so I try to write something impersonal and cerebral, which is not in my nature — and I get stuck because it’s not. So I don’t post. And then we’re in the cycle of not posting, feeling guilty, having to write an apology for not posting, and then not posting again for weeks.
This is all just a prelude, though, to share what Sekhmet said this morning.
“Tell someone you love them. Someone who will not expect it. Don’t lie and say it to someone you don’t love, but share that love with someone who has not heard it from you yet, or has not heard it often enough. Share your love.”
I get a super love-y Sekhmet. Probably this has to do with the fact that it’s Sekhmet-Mut, not original flavor Sekhmet, but that’s conjecture. Either way, She says to share the love.
That wasn’t so hard — I’ll try to be less cerebral in the future, and work on sharing Their love. 😉