Last night as I stood before my Father, about to speak the first words of the State Rite, He challenged me. I felt His focus narrow in on me with deadly intensity as I drew breath to power the heka that is the priestly ritual.
As I began the rite, I felt the power behind it. I understood that what I did mattered. That the words I said, even if I did not know how, would wind through the Seen and Unseen worlds, supporting and reinforcing Ma’at. I needed to get this right.
There was another layer to His challenge. For several months I have been working part-time as a w’ab, feeling crippled by uncertainty and caught up in crises. That choice was mine, and I have been given my time to adjust. Now the gods ask me to decide whether I will be a priest who serves unconditionally, or a follower who honors the gods when life permits. As I began the rite, I could sense that I was establishing to the gods, with perfect speech and heka, that I would not falter in my devotion to serving Them.
Anything worth doing is worth fighting for. I can be many things, but I must be them with dedication and with perseverance. I cannot be one thing in fair weather and another in foul. I have my homework from the gods, and I will be a priest, during turmoil and peace.