It’s hard to find interesting things to write about when the extraordinary is a part of my daily life. Sometimes I wish I could stop and take my experiences a little less for granted, because then I might feel a little less cynical.
When I first stumbled across Kemetic Orthodoxy I had already been interacting with the gods. I had encountered Venus when meditating before bed. A friend of mine, with whom I shared the experience, said that sounded pretty rare. So when I found the House of Netjer forums and saw all these people talking about ‘hearing’ the gods, I was pretty excited. Here was a community where I didn’t have to feel weird for talking to God and getting an answer.
Now I spend time every day with open statues of the Gods – staring down vessels which are dwelling places for the Divine – and it feels… ordinary. They excitement at hearing a sharp Jackal laugh at the back of my mind is replaced with either ennui or skepticism. It feels too familiar. When I first felt Yinepu pushing me to offer Him chocolate, it felt like sparks in my body, driving me. It felt like silk rushing all around me. It was intense.
Now it is kind of like my tolerance has been hit. I know what the gods like, so that discovery, honeymoon-like period is over. I guess in some ways I am married to my gods as their priest but I didn’t expect it to feel so literal. Not that I don’t love what I do – it is just hard to feel like I’m having a spiritual experience when the Divine feels so mundane.