See the title above. It is incredibly *hard* to write anything that seems worth reading, but I soldier on. The down-time is over, and now I’m back to my in-shrine reflections.
I’ve been feeling kind of insecure lately about the way I do things in shrine. I talk with people about their spiritual practices and they tell me about different things they’ll do in shrine or meditations they’ve received during ritual, and I always feel this pang of guilt. ‘I don’t do anything half as involved as *that*.’ I have my own habits and ways of doing things, and I’m just grafting a whole new role onto my existing spiritual life; but still, it feels too simple. It feels like I should be doing something else.
So I thought, and I talked to other people, and it comes down to something like this.
I have a candle in my shrine. Originally, I put the candle in point A, because it Had To Go There – but it was logistically the worst place it could be. It was in the way, I kept knocking into it, I kept almost singeing things – it was not right. I kept it there, though, because I truly believed it Had To Go There.
Then I had a radical idea. I would move my incense holder, because it wasn’t quite right and move the offering dishes… pretty soon I had moved the candle. I decided that I would move it back if it really felt wrong. Much to my surprise, it felt more right then when it was in its new location. There was a sense of comfortable satisfaction, as if the Gods were saying “ah… this is cozy!” So it stayed put.
Replace the candle with all those things I worry that I’m missing, and there’s the answer. Just because someone else incorporates something different doesn’t mean it Has To Go in my spiritual practice. It can be in a different place for me, or for anyone. The thing that I lost sight of – and others do too – was how in the end, the details are pretty insignificant. It’s the bigger picture, the devotion and earnest relationship with the gods, that really need attention.
Was that a fun story? I don’t even know. It was fun to write, even if it was frustrating to experience! Enjoy. I’m hoping to continue with my 30 Episodes thing in the near future.
3 thoughts on “Basically, I suck at blogging.”
And don’t forget the biggest thing: it’s YOUR practice. Even in KO, where we have the same rite to use, we’re all going to do it very differently. I do things super simple, and I wish I could be more elaborate somehow, but that wouldn’t be me. Or at least me right now.
Is this making sense?
Makes perfect sense. 🙂 I am in the simple camp as well. I think it appeals to Dad’s pragmatic nature but I do wish I could elaborate as well, sometimes. But you’re right – it wouldn’t be me!
I always wish I could do more ritual-wise, but it’s not the way my brain (and my practice) works.
one thing I have enjoyed doing over the years is periodically reading different hymns. I have both the prayerbook and Hymns, Prayers and Songs (which I need to buy) to use for inspiration. Writing my own is still beyond me at this stage.