Episode 13: My Gods – Beloved: Nut

Three weeks before my own Rite of Parent Divination, I walked from one end of campus to the other, heading back to my dorm from class on a freezing cold February evening. As I walked along the path leading up to my residence hall, I stared up, risking a fall or a twisted ankle for my revelry – but for as long as I’ve been able to see it, I’ve been in love with the night sky, and while the city skyline against a stark black sky marked by a few visible stars was not the same as the sky at home, it still caught and kept my attention as I walked.

Three weeks later, I would be divined as a beloved of Nut, explaining… well, a lot and nothing all at once. I had been fond of Nut as a child studying Egypt in history class, curious about the sky goddess with blue, star-speckled skin. For all that curiosity, I never did know Her domain, and even now that I have more information about Her, I am still not positive I truly understand Her. She is the Mother of the most popular gods of Egypt, the Mother of the Akhu, the sky through which Ra is reborn every night, but I don’t have a clue what that really means.

My only experiences with Her have been vague impressions of warmth and love, and an overwhelming sense of unfathomable vastness. I represented Her in Her shrine with a glass paperweight of the Milky Way, until I found an image of Her She deemed acceptable. But I can’t honestly recall an experience with Her that extended beyond a cursory “hello”.

I suspect that I’m not the only one who has had gods show themselves mysteriously in their life. Some might say the lack of oomph in this relationship means it is invalid, or unnecessary; I don’t get this sense. I feel Her influence in my life, in spite of Her distance. She is a warm, mysterious face in my shrine.

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