No, this is not a post about getting new Gods. This is a post about the same old Gods, seen a new way; little snippets of life with the Precious Two in this year of Zep Tepi.
I have always thought of myself as a servant to my Gods; as a conduit for Their work in this world. Now it seems They’re starting to call me on this, asking me to bow, showing Themselves in a different light.
Most of my brothers and sisters in Wepwawet, for example, find that He doesn’t prefer a lot of bowing and scraping from them. Lately, I find that He demands it. That I bow before Him, and submit myself to Him as subject and servant to His lordship. I had a conversation recently with one, who said that she had been explicitly told in shrine NOT to fully bow before Him. After I mentioned His recent demands, she tried some more bowing. It did not go over well. Me, I feel Him pressing me down to the floor, and I bow.
I kneel before Their shrine, looking up at Their faces lit only by candlelight, and am totally swept away. Sure, I thought Their images were beautiful, but They have taken on an extra beauty now– the beauty of something incredibly powerful: a raging fire, a roaring beast. Of course They were always powerful, but now I am pressed right against that power, my nose right up against the glass dividing us from blinding, divine might.
I am captivated by Their immense magnificence; on Their intense power and beauty. They are the Gods before Whom I fall in awe of Their glory, the Gods Who bring the light to the dawn, Who shine brighter than all the Gods. I have been translating many of Mut’s epithets from the Lexikon der ägyptischen Götter und Götterbezeichnungen. Many of her epithets give testament to Her radiance, to Her magnificence. She is called “Die Mächtige und Prächtige” – the Magnificent and Powerful. There is something striking in that epithet. Magnificent, resplendent, glory enthroned – and power beyond power, to make kings and shatter lives.
Our relationship had been casually loving, at most; words of encouragement, requests, gentle shoves in one direction or another, and the occasional brain-breaking message from the Unseen. Now my New Gods are Here. Now. Demanding, pushing, roaring in my face. And I will, too – roar Their song against the night with Them.
4 thoughts on “My New Gods.”
I wonder also if your approach to Dad is also influenced by your Mother. Between that and your name meaning, I am not surprised this is happening for you.
Heh – yeah, I probably should have figured on the name thing being a part of it. Silly life, making sense and all!
Oddly, I have felt the need to Henu, including faceplanting. Not the weird belly-to-floor thing, I dunno wtf is up with that, I have trouble imagining that being done by anybody. But if I am standing, I henu, then drop my palms and forehead to the surface of the shrine. If I’m kneeling I drop them to the floor if I can. Hands to floor and bowed head if not.
I’m getting a lot stronger experiences like this. I don’t know if it’s that the state of mind opens me up better to him, or if it’s that he prefers it, but something’s working.
But then, as I think I said elsewhere, I do seem to be getting the Ma’at-y justice-y Sed-y Wepwawet. Plus I have openly sworn myself to his service, that my body is his to use (and he has done so, like with the recent fedw stuff).
It is possible that ‘your’ Jackal is more justice-y! I think He’ll ask for different things depending on who He’s dealing with (shapeshifters, ha!). I think it has more to do with His whims and nature than anything we could do.
Re: full prostration – I rather like it. I find it oddly comforting, to be fully and totally laying at the feet of my gods. It’s a weird but nice feeling.