It’s hard for me to blog personally. I don’t want to get too intimate with the details of my spiritual life because, well, they’re mine. I’m not 100% sure people want to read the intimate details of my spiritual life– but I might be wrong, so I’m going to try, desperately, to blog at least once a week about my personal spiritual life.
I’m feeling particularly close to my gods today. It might have something to do with the weather, the hissing rain making me unusually aware of the world outside of my classrooms; it might have something to do with the approaching anniversary of my dedication to Them; it could have nothing to do with anything at all. I don’t always question these kinds of things. When the gods come close, I listen. Sometimes They have something to say. Other times, They just want to be closer.
It’s not always easy. Serving God is much different than just worshiping or honoring God, more far reaching than just prayers occasionally. It involves constant devotion, living one’s life for the God you love. Heck, it involves love itself – Love, capitalized.
I’m taking a class on Hinduism right now, and my professor is particularly captivated by the idea of Love as a path of devotion. It occurs to me that, within a completely different cultural setting, that is the path I am walking. Love as a form of devotion and service to God. There are some who spend hours researching their gods, who spend time in trance meditation getting deep and cryptic messages from the Divine. I suppose it’s fitting that I should try my hand at everything once– I’ve tried meditation, I’ve tried scholarly research, I’ve tried divination. That’s not to say that these things don’t work for me — meditation can be relaxing, research is quite informative, and divining is a useful tool — but none of them are what I would choose as my primary mode of devotion. No, for me, Love is how I serve my Gods. Their love for me is vast and unending, so great that I could lose myself in it for hours, filling myself with joy, stillness and wellbeing. When I carry that love with me, and spread it quietly with my words and actions, with the way that I act and treat my friends, They are pleased. When I talk about Them, I have to rein myself in to keep from going on and on about how wonderful and how beautiful and how delightful They are. The words flood me and I have to dam them in. My service to God is to Love.
And while it might sound simple, it isn’t. Love is difficult. To Love the world as my Gods would, to let that Love guide my service, and to live as a mouthpiece for Their Love, as a testament to Their nature.
And as I look over at the stone statue of Sekhmet-Mut my sister sent me, I swear She is smiling wider than ever. Weird things, those statues. Very weird. ~_^