The sun is beginning to set as I write this; it will officially begin to set in about an hour, but the sky is all mottled with colorful clouds and the sun is big and heavy in the West.
Today is the last day of the Kemetic year, and we begin to enter into a time known as the “Days Upon the Year”, or the Epagomenal Days – the Birthdays of the Five Children of Nut: Wesir (August 2nd), Heru-wer (August 3rd), Set (August 4th), Aset (August 5th), and Nebethet (August 6th). At dawn on August 7th, we begin the new year. These Days Upon the Year are a time between time; days outside the cycle. They are weird, and they are very, very special. I am looking forward to greeting each of them meditatively.
This year, known as Year 16 in Kemetic Orthodoxy, was ruled by Ra and Khnum, and was a year of Creation. It was a very, very hard year for me – mostly, because of the lessons I had to learn. Creation, for one, does not necessarily equal Completion. In fact, it RARELY means completion. I spent a lot of time starting projects, to have them last long term throughout the year. While the Oracle, given to the Kemetic Orthodox faith by Aset through divination, for Year 15 spoke bluntly of being forced to see Truth if we resisted it, Year 17 spoke more subtly. We would be forced to love ourselves, to build with our own hands – or we would reap what we had sown. It said it gently, with deep love – but with an underlying sternness that proved exhausting, to me. I have difficulty trusting my ability to begin projects, and leave them to run their course. I have difficulty allowing myself to express myself – feeling that there are so many others who would be better suited for any position I am filling. In the Oracle we were explicitly instructed NOT to do these things – and I fell into my old habits. My attention was drawn, time and painful time again, to the Lessons of the Year – allow your Creativity. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Build something worthy, with faith for bricks and joy for mortar.
Is this a failure? No, and it has taken me a long while to accept that. It’s all a part of the lesson. Even though I forged against the current through the year, and fell down and stumbled and staggered about – I’m still standing. Nekhtet! May my heart be more open in Year 17 – to the lessons of the Year, among other things.
Time to hold on for the next 5 days, keep my head above water – and let Zep Tepi wash over me with the sunrise on New Year’s Morning.